Lock-down Diaries – Volume I

by | 30 March, 2021

Arriving home from India to a country of hoarders, no pasta or toilet roll and a desolate Kings Cross Station.

3 people on my train home and I was on a train earlier than my advance ticket.

‘Just jump on!’ they said. Normally, we’d be charged a whole new fare. What was going on?

COVID-19 was about to change our lives for the rest of the year and, our lives going forward.

In Goa, no reported cases. Everyone trying to convince me to stay. But what if I got ill and couldn’t see my family? What if they got ill and I couldn’t make it to them? What if this thing was going to go on for months?

I knew I had to be at home and at the time, thought I was going back to work. It was a very long and anxious journey. Delhi airport, everyone in masks – but on my way here they said they were useless? Do I wear one? What will the plane journey be like?

10 hours I had to wait in the airport – but I was one of few people I had spoken to whose flight hadn’t been cancelled or changed or delayed. I counted myself so lucky to get home safely with very little disruption. It was the right choice.

I isolated for a couple of days, even though 111 said I was okay to return to work.

I’ll leave it til Monday, I thought.

Friday night – all gyms to close. Other industries had already shut down or were about to shut down. What on earth was happening? We had an emergency staff meeting that night.

Turns out it was the last night of us altogether as a team. But none of us could know that yet.

I went into work the whole weekend. Sorting out admin, contacting members and trying to freeze their memberships. Also preparing work outs and getting ready to stream from there.

Monday came – full lockdown – 3 weeks. At the time it was announced I was at my boyfriend’s house.

We decided I would stay there. 3 weeks then got longer, and longer.

It was the strangest time. He was classed as a key worker so, life for him carried on as normal. For me, this was a whole new world*. (*high five if the Disney song immediately came into your head reading that 😉)

I taught a 45-minute class every day in the early evening – but, that was it. I tried to do some work remotely – admin, some social media bits and bobs. But it was so surreal. We then all became furloughed and that was even stranger! I felt pretty isolated living in a village where I only knew one person other than my boyfriend’s family. I hadn’t been this long out of a gym for years. It was like I was starting life all over again.

The countryside was beautiful and I’m thankful I could get outside every day. We were also blessed with the most amazing weather. And, as I reflect back – I was able to apply all of what I learnt in India pretty much straight away. I grew my first home grown veggies and found a new love of plants!

Peony Flower that bloomed – watering the garden everyday and appreciating nature was a definite highlight.
My first homegrown Chantey Carrots…very miniature!
Homemade Granary Loaf – making bread became a weekly thing and a new skill learnt.

I became very disciplined at getting on my mat first thing in the morning. An hour or sometimes an hour and a half. Asana, breath work and a short meditation or concentration practice.

I gave myself little lists to do each week.

I started to teach not only the classes for the gym online, but a few of my own via Zoom. No better time to practice than the present! I then started to get a few clients – going to their garden outside or online. One of which helped me to develop and design what would be my new logo.

Thorton-Le-Dale in August 2020 – the first time travelling further than the local area after the first lock-down.

The thought of teaching online at first made me so nervous. I thought there were so many things that could go wrong. But now, here we are in 2021 and I wouldn’t have a job without online classes.

For me, the first lockdown was great in lots of ways and awful in others.

My boyfriend and I split in the June and I moved back home with my mum.

We all got made redundant in July just as gyms were to re-open.

I realise I have left a lot out there. That time seemed to go on forever, but do you know what? As tragic as COVID has been for so many, and I wouldn’t wish it to happen to anyone. For me, it was the wakeup call I needed. A blessing in disguise. I was running my best times, practicing yoga everyday and really trying to figure out where all the darkness of the last 6 months had come from and heal. My life was always busy. And this time really allowed me to reflect on lifestyle changes that needed to be made for my mental and physical health.

My ex-boyfriend and I had been friends for years. In the time of us living together and things were going quickly – it was hard to feel like we were in any form of ‘real world’. Emotions heightened. I know now that we are better apart. Unfortunately, we can’t remain friends for a few reasons. Our paths had parted for a couple of years before COVID brought us back together. In my mind, we are now better apart. But he taught me a lot of things. There are moments of our friendship that I value and I look back on. He was still in love with his ex – so we could never work long term. He needed time. I needed space, and I can’t be with someone who loves someone else. I had to have more self-worth than that.

The first lockdown taught me not to be any less than who I am. I’m not ‘fragile’. That is not me. I’ve always been career driven, loved being around people and both of those had pretty much vanished. I had to dig deeper. True, my mental health has taken a battering over the years. But I was coping well in lockdown – my GP had all the faith in me. So rare to have a doctor who cares on every level.

When we were made redundant – that’s when KPMINDBODY was created. My logo was ready, I had a small client base but it was something. My wonderful client Jules helped me to develop the logo, gave me the confidence to go for it! She was such a blessing in that lockdown. If you ever read this Jules, thank you for your support, love and kindness. I’m so grateful for you.

Without the lockdown, I don’t know how things would have gone.

When living with my mum again for a short time, got some more work and continued to grow my little business as the lockdown lifted. I was still very anxious.

The depression had gone. The dark cloud left. But the anxiety was still there.

‘Depression is living in the past. Stress is the present. Anxiety is the future’ Upendra had said.

So true.

I didn’t know where I was going. And for someone who loves to plan – COVID has taught me to be more flexible and more ‘in the moment’ rather than trying to plan everything so far ahead and always look to the future. Yoga teaches us to be as present as possible and COVID has forced us to.

Even before the pandemic, we couldn’t control our whole life journey. So why are we worrying and thinking we could before? We have learnt to adapt, change, grow and find a new way of living.

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Want to find out how I can help you move and be more healthy? Contact Kelsey today.